Fall is the onset of the most beautiful death we can ever know. Each earthy element of life begins to wane, their breath slowing, in preparation for Winter. Leaves burn red, orange, gold, and deep mustard, before curling in at the edges and floating slowly, lifelessly, to the ground. The sun seems to lose strength day by day, finding it harder and harder to keep its eyes open, and a cool, diaphanous wind settles over the city.
The world is getting ready to die.
And yet, we feel so full of life, the nature around us vibrant and colorful and bursting with flavour. Autumn makes me feel peaceful and content, pensive and exhilarated. It is the most wonderful time of the year — my favourite! Apple-picking with Maria. Pumpkin-flavoured things, including the glorious pumpkin-spiced latte (a new part of my weekly ritual). Warm apple cider, and cool leather jackets. Sweaters. Yams. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Fall festivals. Fall birthdays, including mine. Football. Gray skies above, gossamer clouds below. Afternoon drives in the weakened sun, a brilliant harmony of autumn colours whirring by your window. Really, does it get any better than that? I’ve been so excited for Fall to start that I started wearing scarves in August (I leave for work at 6am…it’s cold at that time).
My life has completely changed this fall. It’s the first September I’m not going back to school. I still cannot believe it. It’s sometimes difficult to come to grips with the reality of change, especially when you’ve been accustomed to something for so long. Where did the time go? As a total nerd, I was always excited about going back to school. I used to get tired of summer mid-August, unable to mask my excitement for new notebooks and bookmarks, back-to-school shopping, organizing my pencil case, and getting my outfit ready for the first day — I don’t think I was ever very fashionable, but I tried. I did.
In elementary school, my brother and I would walk through the park in front of my house to get to school, kicking leaves all over the place, our bodies slightly slanted from the weight of our knapsacks. But, suddenly, Halloween dance-a-thons, running door to door, yelling “trick-or-treat!”, and trips to the pumpkin farm gave way to high school costume parties, bad karaoke, and wild nights. And, just yesterday, I felt like I was a confused and enormously shy first-year at U of T walking through Queen’s Park with a map, trying to look cool and unconcerned about being an hour late for a class I couldn’t find.
But, alas, 5 wonderful years have passed since then. I wouldn’t change a thing.
At the end of August, I started my internship at HarperCollins Canada, which is turning out to be a valuable learning experience. Everyone has been extremely helpful and kind from the first day, and I’m meeting a lot of great people. The amount of mailings and catalogs to design and things to print and pitch letters to write and calls to make is slightly daunting, and sometimes exhausting. But always abetted by my ambitious and inspiring intern allies in Intern Ally, Jane and Siobhan, who keep my spirits up and my tomato-intake high. I feel like I’m exactly where I want to be. Perks: FREE BOOKS, which I am constantly gifting to friends and family. If you’re a close friend, love, or family member of mine, you’ve probably already received a book from me. The piles of books on my desk inspires me, each day, to write, and I do. When I have a free moment, when an idea pops into my head, I scribble into the beautiful Christian Lacroix journal that my good friend, Danielle, bought me. In fact, I hope to take some time off in the Winter to seriously pursue my writing — if I don’t do it now, I doubt I ever will.
In other book-related news, I joined a book club! Our first meeting was a success, and they’re a great group of girls. I can’t wait to discuss the first book on our list: The Paris Wife by Paula McLain. I’m not finished yet, but I’m in love with it so far–expect a full review soon!